Friday, November 6, 2009

graditude.......................

So its just about that time again to give thanks. With it being November and all. This year has definatley been a roller coaster ride for me. Last year at this time I wasn't really thankful at all it seemed as though my life was falling apart all around me. I am so amazed at the tranformation I have gone through. First and formost i am greatful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior, I know now that they guide and watch over me regardless if I am being the best me. I know that by admitting that my life was unmanagable and by givivg up trying to do everything my way and by myself and asking Heavenly Father to take my burdens and to show me a better way almost immediately things were out of my hands. I humbly listend to and followed his direction and I got the most important thing back. My Testimony. I some how along the way lost sight of him and the most important things in my life. Now going through treatment was not easy. For those of you that don't know I was in a aclcohol treatment program for 30 days. It only took about eight months for alcohol to consume my life and almost take it. It was then that I completely surrenderd to my Savior. I had to leave my precious babies and my loving husband behind. It was the hardest thing I have had to do. I and my family have grown immensly through this trial. We know what we want for our lives, we now look at things in a more Eternal way. I have found beauty in the small things again. I have realized that complacency is the fastet destroyer. Dedicating everyday to his will and bearing whitness to what is true and making a concious effort to live his plan and not my own is what will ultimatley bring me peace and happiness. I know and really understand that everyday does matter it does make a difference. One small good deed will ripple through the waves of the world. I am so humbled to have regained my testimony from people who may not believe every principle I do, but they know what is important. The relationship you have with your Heavenly Father. I am so greatful that I had an open mind and a softend heart to hear the insightful teachings from people that I once prejudged. I know that everyone is walking their own road and the scenery may be different but the curves bumpes and inclines are all just as difficult to trudge ALONE. With prayer and helping hands we all can reach the top and look upon the glorious view that was so worth all the work. I am also blessed to have people in my life to listen to their Divine Guidence to offer me the help I needed. I have learned to be humble and speak my mind ask for help as well as forgivness quickly, so I do not bottle things in. I have learned that its o.k. for me not to beable to do everything on my own. I am not supposed to, I am supposed to trust in others to love me unconditionally and want to share there support for me. this was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn and to accept. I thought if i just did everything on my own and over did for everyone around me than I would be loved and though that might be true I didn't feel loved I felt used. It is nice to have enough confidence to say I can't do that. not that I don't want to but, that i need alittle assitance and have people understand. What a freeing concept. I am also greatful for my family. This experience has brought me and Tom so much closer. We respect each other so much more and appreciate the little things we both do that we took for granted. What a blessing for my children to have the opportunity to see tremndous struggles around them and to whitness the support and love that got us through. For them to not only hear of Heavenly Father and to learn of him but, to also really feel his love for each of them and the stength he gave their whole family. I am greatful for struggles and for burdens because only through them are we allowed to grow to fill our spiritual cups and they make the simple things in life so much more brilliant. (not that I enjoy walking through them!) Sometimes I wish Heavenly father didn't have quite so much faith in me!! lol. greatfully yours Keri