Haidyns Five!!!

Five years ago I was blessed with an amazing little boy, being my last and a boy I was so excited!! When we first decided on his name I wanted it to be a little different so thats why we decided on Haidyn and not the traditional spelling. I had no idea he was already going to be set apart all on his own. When he was just 6 months old he was diagnosed with left hemispheric cortical dysplasia. ( just a long name for only half of his brain functions.) I was devistated and at that time we were told he could possibly be a vegtable. I am happy to announce that five years later and just a few inconviences he is as normal as any other boy!! He had a tractor party! The morning of his party he woke up bright and early came in my room and said "its my poo poo potty??" thats what it sounds like when he says birthday party lol... (it took us a bit to figure out what he was saying.) He was soo excited to pick out his decorations and cake. He is such a sweet Happy boy. I was nostalgic and looked at all his baby pictures the night of his birthday, (and of course bawled), and in all of his pictures he has that same adorable grin!! He was so nice to all of his guests and told them all thank you. there was only one gift that he wasnt super thrilled about, the clothes me and tom got him, he tossed them all out of the bag just looking for anything FUN that might have been hidden in there. upon opening each gift he would say "YES..... thats awsome!!" so excited. It makes me so happy to be able to take part in the simple pleasures of my kids. How easily pleased they are. Thank you Haidyn for showing me that strength comes in all sizes, for always making me laugh and for allowing me to be apart of your fasinating little life. I can just imagine all the things you will do. Keep trying and never let anyone stop you from doing anything you set your mind to!! I love you with all my heart.

Spring Fever.......

I am so excited for spring I cant stand it!! We have been planting our bulbs and pruning our plants and just being out in the beautiful weather. there is just something about the newness in the air. I have just been thinking about mothers day with it just around the bend and how much I love my mom and the other matriarchs in my life.
I am always amazed at the strength my mother had being a single mom of four. ( my three keep me on my toes, with Toms help). What a special job for us mothers to do, take care of our Father in Heavens precious spirits. Not only do we want to see them grow and thrive he is guiding us to help his children so that they may live with him once again.
I look at my kids and know that I would walk through fire for them so I cannot imagine the strength of our Fathers love for all of us. I wanted to say thank you to my mom for all the lessons she has taught me. I have learned to be humble and thankful. She has taught me respect for all people and she has taught me a great work ethic. I have also learned from her that our children can become great friends. Enjoying time with one another I love being with my mom and hope my children will want to hang around when they are on their own. I also want to thank my sister-in-law Brenda she has been a great matriarch figure to me as well, she is always self sacrificing and wanting to do the best for her kids, she is so patient and fun loving, she is always ready to try new things. I am amazed at how many lessons i have learned in my life by just simply sitting back and observing, looking at how people react to situations and then deciding if that is how I would like to be perceived.
My best friend steph has taught me that its ok to be a mother bear ready to attack anything that messes with her cubs! I can sometime be to complacent and need reassurance that I have the right to tell anyone what I think when it comes to my babies. My sister Kristy always takes the time to do "fun" stuff (even if it means a mess) and she reminds me to take it easy and not sweat the small stuff! How I miss my grandma Swanson, she taught me one of the greatest lessons of all, leave whom ever you come in contact with better than when you found them,(if they are in a good mood or not!!) and she had a way of making each one of us feel special. I think to her we all were. I cannot express my gratitude enough to all the women out there that have shaped and inspired who I am and who I am striving to be. I know that though my kids can be a handful the Lord placed each one of them in my hands with the confidence that I would be able to give them the love and direction to become successful when they reach adulthood. I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to be a mother and to be able to cherish all the blessings that come with it. Thank you to all the moms who inspire me daily to do the best that I can. with love Keri

Pre-school!!!

I had the pleasure of going to Haidyn's pre school with him today! What a loving little boy! He made sure I was included with every activity they were doing. He is turning 5 this month so he will be off to kindgarden and I know he will do fine he is so thoughtful and fun loving. I on the other hand am super nervous. I know it's inevitable he's growing up! the sad thing is he has all of our families "last firsts!" and with that the knowledge that time must move on. I must move on and continue to grow as well. I look back 5 years ago and it is almost unrecognizable so much has changed in the last few years. My children are all in school (most of the day). They need me less and less for those everyday things, things that used to be tiring. Now I almost miss those few uninterrupted moments of 2 a.m. feedings. (Not that I miss no sleep) just the simple quiet connections.
I know this new chapter is still full of firsts... I just am glad I can revel in the moments .. these ones just before the changes when I am still close to the past but, am excited for the future. I challenge you to look at the past 5 years?? whats new?? whats easier?? whats missed?? Thank you Haidyn for reminding me that courage comes in all sizes and for showing me unconditional love every-single day!!

Stuck in a Rut.........

The fraise "Stuck in a Rut" has new meaning to me. Have you ever been stuck in one?? I have repetedly. I guess im just a creature of habit. It occured to me that the "rut" really isn't the problem it's the forward or uphill movement that is or the effort that we know it will take. I don't know about you, but I've never been a fan about working out! I think the "rut" is the Lords way of saying "O.k., this isn't seving you anymore. Time to move on." but we get attached to Comfort even if that comfort is no longer good for us. It's like those old jeans that are comfy but the seat is a lilttle worn and saggy so they really aren't flattering anymore. We like the idea of change looking at diferent stores and styles of jeans, but then you see the price tag and its "I'm not paying that! were they that expensive last time??" but, you really do need new ones.... so you grab them and off to the dressing room, which I hate. Do they really have to use that bad lighting? you think they would sell more if they used one of those "skinny" carnaval mirrors! At any rate they look ok and after trying a few styles on and finding the right price range you decide. Thats the important part, deciding!

Be a filler upper not a dumper!!

Mckaydee came home from school the other day and said "Mom, do you know you have a bucket on your elbow?" puzzled I looked at her and said "I do?" of course looking down to see if i had anything stuck to my arm. Nothing there. "Yeah, everyone does." she said, " when someone does something to you that makes you feel bad. They dump out your bucket, but if someone does something nice for you, like... pick you up when you fall down or tells you sorry they fill your bucket back up! Its filled with rainbows! I'm a filler upper, not a dumper." I told her I was proud of her for always being so nice to her friends and gave her a hug as she bounced out of the room to be off on her next adventure. I sat there for a minute amazed at the unique ways the Lord comes up with to remind me and everyone else these simple precepts to live by. One simple concept can change the way we view things. Its something we all know but just need to be reminded. I am so proud of my kids for learning and understanding these lessons and striving to do the right things. So look around you, picture a little bucket attached to everyones arms around you, are they full?? is your own full?? what are you doing to fill them?? Imagine a world or even just your world with filled buckets! I imagine those rainbows shine quite brightly. Today be a filler upper, not a dumper!!

Icing on the cake!!

OK, so i haven't blogged for a bit and I had a funny thing happen to me. I have been trying to perfect a few of my recipes and as funny as it is lately I've been really playing with my icings. Thumbing through one of my recipe books (that I've owned for 11 years )land on a similar icing recipe to the one that I've been trying to perfect! It occured to me that this is a wonderful metaphor for my life, i have had the tools and the directions but, choose to go at it alone after changing this and that finding the right texture, taste and consistency.... there it is in simple step by step directions. I thought about this a little more, yes the guidance was there and I had a general know how but had I not played and changed it I wouldn't know that recipe by heart, I wouldn't understand it. So be it. Play with your own life add as much spice or sweetness as you want don't be afraid to try new things as sometimes the most unexpected things make the best flavors!! Be generous, share your recipes and knowledge with others let them make it their own! I don't know about you but, my dessert is always better when shared!! love ya

graditude.......................

So its just about that time again to give thanks. With it being November and all. This year has definatley been a roller coaster ride for me. Last year at this time I wasn't really thankful at all it seemed as though my life was falling apart all around me. I am so amazed at the tranformation I have gone through. First and formost i am greatful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior, I know now that they guide and watch over me regardless if I am being the best me. I know that by admitting that my life was unmanagable and by givivg up trying to do everything my way and by myself and asking Heavenly Father to take my burdens and to show me a better way almost immediately things were out of my hands. I humbly listend to and followed his direction and I got the most important thing back. My Testimony. I some how along the way lost sight of him and the most important things in my life. Now going through treatment was not easy. For those of you that don't know I was in a aclcohol treatment program for 30 days. It only took about eight months for alcohol to consume my life and almost take it. It was then that I completely surrenderd to my Savior. I had to leave my precious babies and my loving husband behind. It was the hardest thing I have had to do. I and my family have grown immensly through this trial. We know what we want for our lives, we now look at things in a more Eternal way. I have found beauty in the small things again. I have realized that complacency is the fastet destroyer. Dedicating everyday to his will and bearing whitness to what is true and making a concious effort to live his plan and not my own is what will ultimatley bring me peace and happiness. I know and really understand that everyday does matter it does make a difference. One small good deed will ripple through the waves of the world. I am so humbled to have regained my testimony from people who may not believe every principle I do, but they know what is important. The relationship you have with your Heavenly Father. I am so greatful that I had an open mind and a softend heart to hear the insightful teachings from people that I once prejudged. I know that everyone is walking their own road and the scenery may be different but the curves bumpes and inclines are all just as difficult to trudge ALONE. With prayer and helping hands we all can reach the top and look upon the glorious view that was so worth all the work. I am also blessed to have people in my life to listen to their Divine Guidence to offer me the help I needed. I have learned to be humble and speak my mind ask for help as well as forgivness quickly, so I do not bottle things in. I have learned that its o.k. for me not to beable to do everything on my own. I am not supposed to, I am supposed to trust in others to love me unconditionally and want to share there support for me. this was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn and to accept. I thought if i just did everything on my own and over did for everyone around me than I would be loved and though that might be true I didn't feel loved I felt used. It is nice to have enough confidence to say I can't do that. not that I don't want to but, that i need alittle assitance and have people understand. What a freeing concept. I am also greatful for my family. This experience has brought me and Tom so much closer. We respect each other so much more and appreciate the little things we both do that we took for granted. What a blessing for my children to have the opportunity to see tremndous struggles around them and to whitness the support and love that got us through. For them to not only hear of Heavenly Father and to learn of him but, to also really feel his love for each of them and the stength he gave their whole family. I am greatful for struggles and for burdens because only through them are we allowed to grow to fill our spiritual cups and they make the simple things in life so much more brilliant. (not that I enjoy walking through them!) Sometimes I wish Heavenly father didn't have quite so much faith in me!! lol. greatfully yours Keri