graditude.......................

So its just about that time again to give thanks. With it being November and all. This year has definatley been a roller coaster ride for me. Last year at this time I wasn't really thankful at all it seemed as though my life was falling apart all around me. I am so amazed at the tranformation I have gone through. First and formost i am greatful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior, I know now that they guide and watch over me regardless if I am being the best me. I know that by admitting that my life was unmanagable and by givivg up trying to do everything my way and by myself and asking Heavenly Father to take my burdens and to show me a better way almost immediately things were out of my hands. I humbly listend to and followed his direction and I got the most important thing back. My Testimony. I some how along the way lost sight of him and the most important things in my life. Now going through treatment was not easy. For those of you that don't know I was in a aclcohol treatment program for 30 days. It only took about eight months for alcohol to consume my life and almost take it. It was then that I completely surrenderd to my Savior. I had to leave my precious babies and my loving husband behind. It was the hardest thing I have had to do. I and my family have grown immensly through this trial. We know what we want for our lives, we now look at things in a more Eternal way. I have found beauty in the small things again. I have realized that complacency is the fastet destroyer. Dedicating everyday to his will and bearing whitness to what is true and making a concious effort to live his plan and not my own is what will ultimatley bring me peace and happiness. I know and really understand that everyday does matter it does make a difference. One small good deed will ripple through the waves of the world. I am so humbled to have regained my testimony from people who may not believe every principle I do, but they know what is important. The relationship you have with your Heavenly Father. I am so greatful that I had an open mind and a softend heart to hear the insightful teachings from people that I once prejudged. I know that everyone is walking their own road and the scenery may be different but the curves bumpes and inclines are all just as difficult to trudge ALONE. With prayer and helping hands we all can reach the top and look upon the glorious view that was so worth all the work. I am also blessed to have people in my life to listen to their Divine Guidence to offer me the help I needed. I have learned to be humble and speak my mind ask for help as well as forgivness quickly, so I do not bottle things in. I have learned that its o.k. for me not to beable to do everything on my own. I am not supposed to, I am supposed to trust in others to love me unconditionally and want to share there support for me. this was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn and to accept. I thought if i just did everything on my own and over did for everyone around me than I would be loved and though that might be true I didn't feel loved I felt used. It is nice to have enough confidence to say I can't do that. not that I don't want to but, that i need alittle assitance and have people understand. What a freeing concept. I am also greatful for my family. This experience has brought me and Tom so much closer. We respect each other so much more and appreciate the little things we both do that we took for granted. What a blessing for my children to have the opportunity to see tremndous struggles around them and to whitness the support and love that got us through. For them to not only hear of Heavenly Father and to learn of him but, to also really feel his love for each of them and the stength he gave their whole family. I am greatful for struggles and for burdens because only through them are we allowed to grow to fill our spiritual cups and they make the simple things in life so much more brilliant. (not that I enjoy walking through them!) Sometimes I wish Heavenly father didn't have quite so much faith in me!! lol. greatfully yours Keri

Wedded Bliss!!

Ok So Kami just got married! super crazy! I was in charge of the flowers, Pictures, decor Hair make-up and my friend made the cake!Some of my favorite memories were having fun with the girls the night before... singing "rise and shine...." to try and get Meagan and Dawn awake. They didn't think we were so funny! being apart of all of beggining to end! ( i was the first to Know Josh was purposing!) Seeing the lil girls faces light up when they recieved there gift from Kami. ( cute lil necklaces and earings!) the lil girls crying when I was doing their hair and then marveling in the mirrior at their new "princess do's". Kristy Driving us to the ceremony... we were a lil late... and anyone who knows Kristy knows the woman can get to places in a hurry!! Hearing Kami say... " I just want to take his breath away!" knowing that she did and hearing her say it was the wedding of her dreams. I felt so appreciated hearing her say that because I knew we had done it on a budget and put alot of sweat ,tears and yes a little blood into the whole affair! Taylor was so funny she kept on saying "this is my first wedding, that i get to be in and I am just so excited!" and as she was handing out refreshments to everyone saying "I just Love this job... I love working!!" and chuckling because I know that work isn't quite that enjoyable!! seeing Macen and Mckaydee pretend to be getting married!! Macen was so funny he told "Wait... we have to walk holdong hands!" oh how sweet it is to be young and No we will not be having any couisins marry each other our family is complicated enough! watching Kami trying to force the ring on Joshes finger which took me back to my wedding when the same thing happened to me with the same ring! ( They bought Tom's first ring off of me!) Watching the pure enjoyment of everyone getting together dancing chatting, seeing new and old friends..... But my favorite part the one that really got me choked up was the Daddy daughter dance. Taylor pulling her dad on the floor and watching the two of them twirling around knowing that one day all too soon we too will be giving our little girl away and watching her start the next chapter in her life.... (sigh).. at least I have a few years before that happens and my Kaydee bug is still determind to stay little forever! To all the people in my life that keep me grounded help me stay connected and truly bless my heart with the abundance of love and memories! thank you and I love you all!

Where has the summer gone??

So I haven't been on here for a bit... seems as though time runs faster these days!! we have been really busy! Kami gets married this weekend and I have been doing her flowers her pictures and creating some of the decor! phew... glad my girls won't be getting married anytime soon!! We have spent fun days by willard bay jumping on an inflatable tramp, going to the zoo , and getting ready for school! on top of everything else we just found out we are moving to Perry, Ut !! (in two weeks!!) eek!! So i guess I will have to throw on my super woman cape and tackle that too!! I'm am excited... its a little different than we have been used too. The home is a lil smaller but we will be debt free in 12 mo!! yay!! its a really quiet town and the home is surrounded by peach orchards!! what a fun way for my kids to spend the reat of the summer. We are excited that we will be moving close to Toms sister Brenda and her family. The kids are already signed up to be in the peach days parade!! So if any of you want to come up the 2nd weekend in september we will save you a seat!!!

wings

a cry a wisper a mummer,

beating heart fast then slow, then fast then slow,
shhhh, child revel in who you where who you are,, who you will become
defeat is sometimes beautiful always pure of heart, always knowing....
know now that what to come is good.... faint but good
like the quiet sound of a birds wings always strong but... you cant feel, hear or see it until.... it arives.
the rush the flash the freedom.
oh the dance of rising above and hearing your own singing voice.... the one you ignored....... the one that seems sometimes the quietest..
rest your weary wings dear bird you have to save your strength for your time.....
your time to rise above dark clouds and not falter not be unwavering, for you dear faint song bird will be heard..... and always will be loved.

Me... without the fluff!!!

ok... so I know that most of the time I blog about uplifting stuff but, this time I blogging about the 1% time that I have my guard down When im the most vulnerable! I know that I'm not the perfect wife mother sister daughter or friend but, I do try my best and feel I would give anyone the shirt off my back! but I just don't know if I am as faithful as I once was... In the peopple I've intrusted with my life...or the desicions I have made?? am I wrong in questioning my own ability and the ability I thought I would have in making decisions for another persons life??? so many things can happen in this world and im scared to death for my children. I know that I can not keep them by me forever and they would not grow if I did not let them out into this very big and very scarey world..... but apart of me thinks if I just held on a littler longer.... a little tighter they wouldn't want to go!! Other than my 7 year old thinks shes 17!!! arggg.... she just doesnt understand the dangers of this world!!! nor do I think I ever will. i Just know this is me. I'm over protective maybe kinda crazy but, the one and only thing I know Is I LOVE my kids and would do anything for them, regardless of my own suffering. thats all I can do! Im sure I don't make sense to most of you, (tom always say's I dont make sense when I'm rambling) but I just had to get that off m y chest.I hope somebody out there understands the desire for a perfect household but is humble in knowing that the perfect household is only in heaven ..... with love Keri!

Easter Eve!

Ok so it's Easter Eve. Yes I have made my sweet daughters wear the famous curlers. They had so much fun decorating their eggs. Kristy and Kelly came over and we even let Killian take a try (he loved it!, but he did try to drink the dye I think he thought it looked tasty!!) I wish we could bottle up the excitement of the kids. I would be rich! Even though It gets exhausting keeping up with their energy! I knew it was just because they were anticipating what would be awaiting them in the morning! I know I just have a few precious years before some of the magic is gone. So I want to relish every moment! and it is nice having the line " the Easter Bunny only comes to good boys and girls!!" I had to laugh when I caught them all asleep, what wonderment must they be dreaming of?? even my lil ella tucked under Taylors neck new something special was coming! They look so sweet and I love that. I just dont want to forget these special moments!! catch more of the fun tommarow!! sleep well my babies!

Kyle's going to prom!!

SO it's offical my lil bro Kyle is growing up! I can't tell you how long I have kept this little man like 10 years old! growing up in a house full of girls I have to admit we were all a little worried he might be a little to femine. He surely calmed our fears as the older he got loving to play in the sand box, ginding bugd, and forever trying to fix things! He was three and would carry around my moms tools and say he was "going to work." we all got nervous at what he was going to be working on!! and there was the famous time that he decided to squish Kristy's fish into a little piggy bank so he could take it on a walk! (poor fish) He has always had a tender heart and is often too worried when it comes to his neices and nephews! I have a feeling his own children will be wrapped with bubble tape! I had the plasure of doing his girlfirend Jessicas hair and make-up for prom! Kristy had let her borrow kristy's dress from her Jr. prom. She looked so pretty! Kyle didn't want to go at first but, once he put that tux on mind you it had a pink tie and vest to match jess's dress he was all for it! He was so cute stuting his stuff around the house! I was impressed at how sweet he was to jess telling her how pretty she was. That boy does anything she wants! what a lucky girl! I just hope she doesn't break his heart! The funny thing was when we asked what there plans were for the big night he said,"well we are going to jessicas for dinner and then mom is going to drop us off at the dance." we all kinda chuckled i guess because when we were that age we all had our own rides! gotta give it to him not letting something like that hold him back from having fun!! we love you Kyletto!! never let anything stop your dreams!! hope you had a blast!!

showing off some of his dance skills!

She had to drag him a lil, (but not for long!)

hmmmm.....

After some thought I have decided that i'm not that great of a blogger. I have read many a blog that brought a tear to my eye and brought a smile to my face! I'm greatful for the wonderful insights you have all givin me! I hope I one day can express the love and fun thought of my life! sometimes i just feel as though one day drifts into the next and by the time I get to blogging there has been soo much going on i don't know quite how to cram it all in! so bear with me! one day I will get it! I just wanted to thank a few people in my life... even if they never read this! I first want to thank my husband Tom. There are sometimes i want to pick up my boot straps and and leave it all behind! (one for a min) then i realize he truly knows me.. without saying a word he just gets me! Its the lil things that matter like him telling me to remeber to breath and for heavens sake even laugh a lil! sometimes I get so caught up in the need to's that the want to's get left behind! He reminds to take a little time for myself! I also wanted to thank my sister Kristy, she has always been such a great sister and friend. I know she loves my kids unconditionaly even if they do beg her to get their way! I can always go to her with an unjugmental ear. She doesn't know how much I love and care for her. I am so proud of her for her position with her job and how well her lil KK is taken care of. she is the sweetest person I know! My friend Steph... what can I say about Steph!! she is my serogant sis! We have been friends since i can rember I always look up to her for her cool and collected way of handleing things! she has her priorites in order and doesnt bow down to anyone for them!! I have always looked up to her she ia a true friend and I know I will always beable to lean on and learn from her!.Ok so I can't get to all of you who have enriched my life today! but i will get my gratitude to you!! I know if I just try to be a little better every day its that much closer to who I want to become!! love all

so here are some of our rooms!!

OK so i haven't blogged for like ever and ever!! soheres whats up! I have been redecorating my house! not a whole overhaul just a few new decorations to give me a boost through this never ending wintwer!! arrg!! so i promissed a few friends i would post the pics!! i have also been doing alot of photo work with my awsome sis-in-law Brenda! who has shown me the photo ropes!! you don't know caous until you asee 30 cheer-leaders tumbling around in between the flash of the camera! they where really fun though! my sis Kami is also planning a wedding this aug. 22 just 10 days after my 10 year aniversary!! i have a feeling it will be a busy summer!! I have got my new camera up and running so there really shouldn't be a reason behind any procrastination of bloggin!! haha! so i am promising myself to be better!

I can't believe Taylor is 7! what a smarty she is. She can already read cursive. I am amazed at how determind she is to accomplish her goals! last summer she got skates for her birthday and said " i am going to skate until my face falls off!" and there wew a few times it nearly did! All her hard work paid off. she went ice skating with grandma and Kristy and just went for it! she did a beautiful job, they said she did'nt even need help! Taylor is always willing to help as long as she gets her pom pom ( our reward system.) and is such a good sister to her siblings and is also very good to Killian. We get to celebrate her birthday with my niece Alenica who is exactly 10 years and 2 days apart! what a fun thing to share. She got an nintendo DS and loves palying it. She carries it with her slong with the make-up my dad got her and the purse my mom gave her! She is such a sweet thing and is very tender hearted. I hope she will continue to reach for her dreams and capture everyone of them. I love you so much my lil taylor. always remember i am hre for you always..